Semi-precious

Autumn 2014

Their rarity made them precious
because they would not sing for me
for all that I begged and pleaded
My thoughts were always free.

I always looked at letters and words
as thoughts that you could bleed
But, no matter how long I called to them
they would never answer to me.

But warm Winters came to my scattered head
where there was light, and shades of sound
while I grieved for the words, silenced and dead
yet thanked the Stars I had been found.

But, even safety nets tear, and the best plans fail
There’s nothing we know that shall stay the same
I know, you promised the sun amidst this gale
but my own words were drowning in the rain.

Please understand why I could not stay
Not when you’d so easily watch them bleed.
Yes, every price must be paid
But, they mean the entire world to me.

And now, they sing for you, they always do
while I stand here struck with the blues
My words are cliched and awkward, but true
And stuck in the middle with you.

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Always

It isn’t always the memories
that undo you late at night
Sometimes it’s only a feeling,
an absence of some near-divine light
Sometimes it is a number plate,
when the numbers add up to a name
Or a person stands up to be who you were,
and you avert your eyes in shame

It’s knowing that you’re growing
and that things must be left behind
That you are only a stranger
lost somewhere in the threads of time
And it’s paying the cost of life
in memories not yet made
It’s holding on to the hope
that some things can still be saved

For in the depths of something unstoppable
always tugging at my soul
You were the first hand to grab mine
and burn through all the cold
And I know you haven’t cared
for quite a long long time
But I’ll never forget that moment
when I first learned that I was still alive

And if I could have just one thing,
I don’t know if it would be you
But I remember the shade of your eyes
better than you ever could
It’s because I’ve seen the light in them
And it’s a light I can’t unsee
So, if it comes to a choice between us,
even my darkness could never choose me.

The Kindly Ones // Crying Lightning

 

The Origin

The Origin

“All around me darkness gathers,

Fading is the sun that shone;

We must speak of other matters:

You can be me when I’m gone”

Stasis

Stasis

“Flowers gathered in the evening,

Afternoon they blossom on;

Still are withered by the evening:

You can be me when I’m gone”

– Two-part poem in The Sandman, The Kindly Ones

Molten

I cannot hold you in my hands anymore
Flowing out of my veins, like lava in flames
Shining like an intense ocean of red and gold
if I choose to burn, is it not only I who is to blame?

Though sometimes I still dream of that very first time
That my ice-cold soul felt the burn of your skin
Around your fingers, you wrapped my reeling mind
Leaving my edges on steam, and my core, molten.

And you should know I’ve been melting ever since
First in cracks that trickled, then in streams that screamed
And I wonder if you ever truly were the lost prince
Or simply a lord from some nightmarish tale I once dreamed.

My love, how can I follow you any further into this night?
When I know not the way through the depths of your mind
I set out following the treacherous moon and its light
Only to leave myself somewhere too far behind.

And now the embers falling from my skin
from all the places we have touched
are all I have to light my way of sin
Not enough, but always too much

I like to believe I’ll catch up with you sometime
Before going up in flames, or melting out of sight
And if being too weak to help you was my only crime
Then I hope at least my pyre provides you with light.

 

Bleeding Light

In the arch of her back,
At the corner of his mind,
With all the things they have lost
and dare not hope to find
lies one last chance at redemption
flickering slowly out of sight
But he resolutely faces the other way,
while she stands, blinded by the light.

It was so much brighter once,
before her eyes grew used to this dark
whilst he nourished the flame as long as he could,
until the constant vigilance left its mark
And now he stands, unmoved, decided,
even as she begs him to reconsider
As the flame of all that once was lies dying,
promising to leave them both embittered.

Why won’t he listen? Why won’t he save it?
Girl, wipe those questions of grief off your face
What you weep for is long long gone
nor will this once raging fire leave a trace.
Except that scar, around your heart,
where the wire cut you deepest
There is no shame in falling down,
when the height you chose was the steepest.

I know you won’t stop wishing for miracles,
nor stop needing the way he breathes
I wish I could show you the truth,
because, in the end, everyone leaves.
But you know that, my dearest girl,
Isn’t that why you bleed yourself to sleep?
Ah, you’ll miss the pain when the numbness starts,
Remember not to go too deep.

Fire and Ice – Evolution

~~~

I must stop being so charming,
she breathed in earnest
and humble, he added
earning himself
an icy glare.

But even in that snowstorm,
there was always this fire
in their eyes.

Have you ever seen any one
as ingenious as I? he asked
One in a million, she muttered.
He grinned until realizing
what she had just meant

Ice can choose to melt in a million ways
And only one of any, of all, of those
would do them any good.

Are you both absolutely out of your minds?
is best answered with maniacal laughter
rising into the light of the full moon
in perfect synchronization
— the past.

Now, the darkness whispers secrets
that the moon wasn’t made to keep,
and I’ve heard the darkness calling
and I know it’s calling out to me
— the present

I’m tired of howling
at clouds that won’t even budge
for what is stone but a stubborn cloud?
Sooner or later, it is everything that has to end
— the future?

Even when the Earth has frozen over
and the wind, disappeared from the skies
Know that I will come to you when you call.

~~~

The Fall

Sleepy child,
fall a while
The World is wide
and full of guile
Rest your eyes
It’s dark tonight
Love your demons,
Pick your fight.

Oh, pick your demons
Love your fight
The darkness beckons
Long is the night.
Child of darkness,
Princess of Sin
If you never end,
Where do I begin?

Lost and wandering
turn around
what you’re seeking
isn’t meant to be found
The World is wide
There’s no need to cry
Fallen child,
Sleep a while.