Judaai (Badlapur): Translated Lyrics (English)

Music: Sachin-Jigar
Lyrics: Dinesh Vijan & Priya Saraiya
Label: Eros Music
Singers: Rekha Bhardwaj, Arijit Singh

Raajhan Dhoondan Main Chaleya…
To find my Romeo, I set out
Raajhan Milya Na Ve…
I couldn’t find my Romeo
Jigra Vichon Agan Laga Ke Rabba…
Inside my heart, after igniting a fire, O Lord
Lakeeraan Vich Likhdi Judaai…
In my lines (of fate), you’ve written separation

Kho Gaya, Gum Ho Gaya
Has been lost, has gone missing
Waqt Se Churaya Tha Jo
That which was stolen from time, That
Apna Banaya Tha…
I Had made mine
Woh Tera, Woh Mera
That which was yours, that which was mine
Waqt se churaya tha jo
That which was stolen from time
Sapna sajaya tha
The Dream was decorated

Chadariya Jheeni Re Jheeni (x2)
The bed sheet is thin and worn, thin and worn
Aankhein Bheeni Yeh Bheeni Yeh Bheeni
The eyes are wet, these are wet, these are wet
Yaadein Jheeni Re Jheeni Re Jheeni
The memories are all delicate (thin & worn)(like in a bed sheet)
Chadariya Jheeni Re Jheeni (x2)
The bed sheet is thin and worn, thin and worn
Hai Aankhein Bheeni Yeh Bheeni Yeh Bheeni
The eyes are wet, these are wet, these are wet
Yaadein Jheeni Re Jheeni Re Jheeni
The memories are all delicate (thin and worn), are delicate, are delicate

Aisa Bhi Kya Milna, Saath Ho Ke Tanha
What’s the point of this kind of meeting, being together yet lonely
Aisi Kyun Saza Humne Hai Paayi, Raanjhna Ve
Why have I earned this sort of punishment, my beloved?
Phir Se Mujhe Jeena, Tujhpe Hai Marna
Again I want to live, On/For you, I want to die (again)
Phir Se Dil Ne Di Hai Yeh Duhaai, Saajna Ve
Once again, my heart has given me this curse, my partner
Lakeeron Pe Likh Di Kyun Judaai…
On these lines (of fate), why have you written separation?

Gair Sa Hua Khud Se Bhi, Na Koi Mera
Like a stranger I’ve become even to myself, no one is mine
Dard Se Kar Le Chal Yaari, Dil Ye Keh Raha
Become friends with pain, my heart is saying this
Kholun Jo Baahein… Bas Gham Yeh Simat Rahe Hai
When I open my arms, it’s just grief that comes and embraces me
Aankhon Ke Aage… Lamhe Yeh Kyun Ghat Rahe Hai
In front of my eyes, why are these moments slowly passing by
Jaane Kaise Koi Sehta Judaaiyaan
Who knows how anyone bears separation

Chadariya Jheeni Re Jheeni (x2)
The bed sheet is thin and worn, is thin and worn
Aankhein Bheeni Yeh Bheeni Yeh Bheeni
Eyes are wet, they’re wet, they’re wet
Yaadein Jheeni Re Jheeni Re Jheeni
The memories are all delicate (thin and worn), are delicate, are delicate
Chadariya Jheeni Re Jheeni (x2)
The bed sheet is thin and worn, is thin and worn
Hai Aankhein Bheeni Yeh Bheeni Yeh Bheeni
Yeah, These eyes are wet, they’re wet, they’re wet
Yaadein Jheeni Re Jheeni Re Jheeni
The memories are all thin and worn, are thin and worn, are thin and worn

Raajhan Dhoondan Main Chaleya…
In search of my Romeo, I set out
Raajhan Milya Na Ve…
I didn’t find my Romeo
Jigra Vichon Agan Laga Ke Rabba…
After igniting a fire inside my heart, O Lord
Lakeeraan Vich Likhdi Judaai…
You’ve written separation in my fate…

Credits for lyrics, with alternate translation: http://www.bollynook.com/en/lyrics/16146/judaai/

Dreaming of the Past

One night, I dreamed a dream of paradise
and now there is nothing I can do to forget
I wake in the guilt of sins that are not mine
unreleased from this adopted regret

And even my oldest comrade now lies blue
In this world of sleeplessness’ solitude
So cold in the sky, so distant and cruel
But, always, mine, and forever, true

Like the color of someone’s eyes
when he turned to look into mine
on a moonlit winter evening
lost, now, in space and time

Let me in, I whisper quietly
But there’s no one left to hear my plea
The cold chased away all those memories
Like goldfishes swimming off to sea..

Bleeding Light

In the arch of her back,
At the corner of his mind,
With all the things they have lost
and dare not hope to find
lies one last chance at redemption
flickering slowly out of sight
But he resolutely faces the other way,
while she stands, blinded by the light.

It was so much brighter once,
before her eyes grew used to this dark
whilst he nourished the flame as long as he could,
until the constant vigilance left its mark
And now he stands, unmoved, decided,
even as she begs him to reconsider
As the flame of all that once was lies dying,
promising to leave them both embittered.

Why won’t he listen? Why won’t he save it?
Girl, wipe those questions of grief off your face
What you weep for is long long gone
nor will this once raging fire leave a trace.
Except that scar, around your heart,
where the wire cut you deepest
There is no shame in falling down,
when the height you chose was the steepest.

I know you won’t stop wishing for miracles,
nor stop needing the way he breathes
I wish I could show you the truth,
because, in the end, everyone leaves.
But you know that, my dearest girl,
Isn’t that why you bleed yourself to sleep?
Ah, you’ll miss the pain when the numbness starts,
Remember not to go too deep.


You stumble in,
in mauve and sin
the stale scent of smoky nights about you
I say, you lose
You tell me, I win
and wander off to find a place to brood

I don’t know why
I must stay to watch you cry
And so, I’m out of here, farewell, goodbye
Fall to your knees and weep
Sob yourself to sleep
The first cut’s meant to cut you deep

You crack a grin
I’m yours again
My heart sings and then my heart sinks
You fall down
Throw me your frown
But there’s still no way I can let you drown

Yet I know not
how I ever forgot
the depth of all your twisted little games
You stay on the floor
Don’t smile anymore
And, all we have is bitterness and blame

Say you’ll stay
I’ll stop right away
I can’t stand by and just watch you go,
watch you go
Say you’ll stay
The World is gray
I just can’t stand to watch you go,
watch you go

You stumble in
darker than sin
and I’ve already caught your restless eye wander
Please watch your step
You need some help
But you are away listening for the thunder

The storm’s long gone
but you linger on
Please don’t wait by that window no more
But, if the storm returns
and everything burns
Please don’t leave, say you won’t go?

The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place: Customary Holiday Post

Every customary holiday post needs a review of the trimester. However, the last three months of my life have been extremely strange, even more so than usual, and when I try to look back at them, there’s just this cold gust of wind that flows through me in a way that should hurt.. Instead I find its coolness is only refreshing.

I used to think many things. I was convinced of many things. I’ve seen these three months destroy so many of my convictions, and I’m too shaken up right now to form any new ones.

I used to have a room-mate who would travel to the ends of the World for me, and a relationship that gave me the sort of rare liberty that only security brings.. Now, I find myself with a crew full of human friends, with their own flaws and weaknesses and fears and songs. And, I love them all. This trimester has seen us Protesting and Partying from the first moment to the last. Protesting against all that is unfair, and celebrating everything in life that is still worth celebrating. [Literally so, as the first thing we all did together was protest the unfair conditions for women, followed by an evening at the new pub in town, and the last thing we did together was break a rule so that we could all drink together through the night].

I made some new friends too. And, began reading philosophy. Discovered some new places, revisited some old ones. Fell in love with Vivaldi’s Winter, and had the sort of Strawberry Fields that I should have been proud of, were I not only half there.. I’ve been half everywhere for a while now… Except for the night before the last. Then again, breaking the Rules always did help me feel alive faster than most other things could ever manage. And that’s always the kind of rebellion I enjoy the most; the kind that’s so fun, you want to yell out your adventures to the moon.

But, that was only the ending. For the rest of the time, I remember reading A Game of Thrones, and learning how to play the guitar, and attending a GBM drunk, but determined. I remember being part of a football team that was always top of the table, and a barbecue Christmas night. Orcs must die, and conversations that have been pending for years, and a life-altering moment that I have no recollection of whatsoever, with someone that I don’t know at all. I remember walking across miles and miles, alone in the rain, in a red coat. And, there were parties in rooms, on different terraces, in old and new places, with old and new faces. I attended wild quad parties, tried to launch a revolution, had my feet slip out under me only to fly into the air and have my head hit the ground so hard, I was sure I was lying in a pool of my own blood.

I did all the new things that have always been missing in my life; I missed a flight, broke up a fight involving a blind-side punch to the face and a broken nose, had time to chill at SF, won a football tournament (yay!), got over my longest relationship (finally) and started listening to the kind of music that my dog and I can trip out on together. (I think she likes Beethoven best.)

I went to college in October, certain to be miserable and coming up with all sorts of plans to keep my mind busy; Instead, for the next three months, I found myself in the middle of almost the most fun that I have ever had. I’d forgotten how terrifying and yummy freedom was. I’d forgotten how hard it was to feel alive entirely on your own, and how much more worth it. I’d forgotten how many hours there really were in a day, and how much of my brain, and how many corresponding cells, were caught up in solving stupid pointless problems rather than thinking about any sort of development or dealing with any real issues. Most importantly, these past three months reminded me what it could really be to be me.

And, I absolutely loved it.


These are the guys who made my trimester beautiful:

Plato, Socrates, Nietzsche, Vivaldi, Chopin, Beethoven, John Snow, the Targaryens, Walzer, Pink Floyd, Lounge Piranha, Puppies, sharp seniors, spirited juniors, dedicated professors and the kind of friends who you would fight all of hell to save.


For All the Reasons in the World

They told me this was the wrong direction
that I was headed in.
They shouted out in commemoration,
but whispered persistently of sin.
They said that if I turned around,
maybe my soul could still be saved
With promises of jeweled coffins,
they tried to lead me to my grave.

But, I’ve always been a conscientious objector,
if such a thing there ever was
And what’s more important than all their rules
is your own code of laws.
So, when they sent their men to help me
dismount from my trusted steed,
I spun and spurned it forward
paying their surprised cries no heed.

And, now I’ve been riding North for days,
without a map or a clue
Taking the shortest route I can find
to get the furthest away from you.
The moon is my only companion,
though she brings out the wolves at night
Yet, somehow I feel safer around them
than I ever did in day-light.

There are things I should have told you,
and things that should never have been said
But, in the silence of the dark,
they battle endlessly in my head
Still, if you were to ever need me, darling
If you cannot think of any other possible way
Look for me by the moonlight
I’ll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way..

Doubt thou the stars are fire

By an idyllic lake in the ghost of a park
Like the warmth of a hand in the cold of the dark
Like a fairy’s inner light that keeps her strong
The beauty found deepest in an anguished song

Like the note of a bird that caught the worm
The finest honor that can be earned
The deepest ocean, the highest tide
For every human soul to have lived and died

In the name of all that ever meant a thing
Full, like the hollow of your favorite ring
As constant as the light of the ancient moon
Always the same note, comforting, out of tune

Enough to leave, when you wish it be
More than us, more than me
In every way that’s dangerous, and bad
Never wrong; too often, sad.

Like falling water when it meets the stream
Or the freshest strawberries with the freshest cream
Lighter than smoke, darker than despair
Lost, confused, but always there.

As is helpless, a prisoner, bound in chains
as willing as the Earth to the falling rain
Louder than thunder, brighter than the Sun
Lonelier than loneliness; alone, undone.