RIP CHESTER BENNINGTON

The first time I heard a Linkin Park song, I was about 13. ‘One Step Closer’ was the first, but it was ‘In The End’, the second, that quickly became a personal favorite, retaining its place in the top ten of my heart for the last 16 odd years, regardless of how distant I eventually came to be from the band that was there, with me and for me, while I was growing up.

The voices of Mike Shinoda and Chester Bennington were my sources of light through some pretty dark times, and I don’t think I’m exaggerating in the slightest when I say that were it not for their music, I may not have escaped with my life, certainly not my sanity. And I know a lot of people feel that way. That is as remarkable as the untimely loss of Chester is tragic, though I suppose I must also admit that we would have never been ready to say goodbye. Apparently Chester was ready though. And I hope with all my heart that he finds the peace he was seeking. May he know no more sorrow…

I’ve spent the last four days catching up on two years of music that I seem to have somehow missed out on, and, now, his voice is in my ears, in my head, and I can’t… find the right words to articulate the profound sense of grief and loss I am experiencing. There are no right words.

Like I have just watched an Angel fall.

Requiescat in pace, Chester Bennington.

Thank you for everything, brother.

Love,

Always,

Me.

Oblivion

When I was
a child,
I used to dread
the thought of death,

not because I
would be alive no longer,
but because it meant
that I would forget.

Now, two decades
and
a million missteps later,
I cannot at times help but think

that to be able to forget
not only a life’s pain
but also all its joy and love
might just be the kindest thing.

Sometimes you have no choice

Trouble has always found me
and, if i were to be honest,
i gave up trying to escape it
a long, long time ago.
.
All i do now is wait,
Living so that when the moment comes,
my destiny will find me on my feet,
instead of on my knees.

The One Thing

Is it really so difficult to do?
The one thing I truly ask of you?
Anything for me, you’d always say
So please leave me alone, get out of my way.

There’s nothing for you here,
and my patience is thinning.
I’m tired of your lies,
this cycle of atonement and sinning.
Go where you must,
you know i will not stop you,
turn into fire or dust,
there’s nothing left to be true to.
Continue or cease breathing,
Just leave me alone.
Your heart may be bleeding,
but mine has turned to stone.

And i shall not ask again
so don’t mistake this for a request
You may want to haunt the city of men,
but, leave me to find my rest.
And, so, don’t come knocking on my door.
for if you do, you’ll find it barred.
You may delight in sleeping on the cold hard floor,
but i’ve had my fill of scars.
And, i know you think, you truly believe
that my hatred will come to an end,
but what you want, you will never receive
And you will think thrice before calling me a friend.

So, please, leave me alone and get out of my way.
Anything for me, you would always say
Then why is it so hard for you to do
the one thing that i truly ask of you?

.
Prompt: First three lines from 14.03.2013

Advocatus Diaboli

10.02.2013

I advocate
for the Devil

and believe
that God is dead,

Jesus Christ, I’m
surely going

to burn in
eternal Hell

Unless the Buddha
can save me

with some
enlightenment

But, is there
really a soul?

Tell me, who
can really tell?

Hell Hath No Fury…

13.05.2013

Do not think me weak,
I’m no helpless bird
No damsel in a window; 
The worst is just beginning.

I’m a woman, boy,
have you not yet heard?
We’re all born exquisitely
professional at sinning.

You say Emo as if it were a bad thing…

15.11.2012

And, as completely wretched
as things may seem to go,
the one thing that
I know
is how
that memory of
the laugh in your soul
shall help me brave the cold.