There was a place not too long in the past
Where all our goodbyes, I know I was still counting
But now that we are here, long past the last
I look back but cannot seem to place the ending
.
It seems I can’t even speak of the end
Without taking a trip back to the beginning
Like I can’t even begin to pretend
To separate all of the sin from the sinning
.
Maybe it’s just all the blood on my hands
Ledger Red that I cannot seem to leave behind
In shades of the memories I can’t stand
Like a tune that will not stop playing in my mind
.
Perhaps you truly were looking for peace
Even if you had a strange way of showing it
With all your threats to bring me to my knees
And always on the verge of throwing it
.
It used to make me want to laugh, you know
How your blade in my throat was your idea of peace
But before I was caught in that undertow
For far longer, it only made me want to weep
.
How did we even get here, I wonder
We, who used to hold each other so carefully
How could we tear each other asunder?
How did we even reach that place of no mercy?
.
Maybe you did just want bloodless and kind
Maybe I was the one turning battles to wars
For the blood on my hands may be more mine
But I wish none of it at all had to be yours
.
There was a place, not long ago, I know
Where I was still counting all our goodbyes
But nothing of it remains any more
Nothing true, but not even any of our lies.
.
Begun: December 2016
Finished: April 2022
Edited: August 2023
The Revolution Breathes Fire 