I can’t stop
being so charming,
I can’t stop
being so charming,
I must stop being so charming,
she breathed in earnest
and humble, he added
an icy glare.
But even in that snowstorm,
there was always this fire
in their eyes.
Have you ever seen any one
as ingenious as I? he asked
One in a million, she muttered.
He grinned until realizing
what she had just meant
Ice can choose to melt in a million ways
And only one of any, of all, of those
would do them any good.
Are you both absolutely out of your minds?
is best answered with maniacal laughter
rising into the light of the full moon
in perfect synchronization
— the past.
Now, the darkness whispers secrets
that the moon wasn’t made to keep,
and I’ve heard the darkness calling
and I know it’s calling out to me
— the present
I’m tired of howling
at clouds that won’t even budge
for what is stone but a stubborn cloud?
Sooner or later, it is everything that has to end
— the future?
Even when the Earth has frozen over
and the wind, disappeared from the skies
Know that I will come to you when you call.
If words were wishes
and wishes came true
I’d wish time stopped forever
Just so I could be with you.
And to think of how far I have run,
to think of how long I was gone,
I’d trade it all away
just to forever listen to your song.
But yesterday remains as it was,
even if the colors in our memories change
and I will always love you
How much, words can not explain.
Forgive me my absence,
my sharp words and my haste
Forgive me my selfishness
in forgetting the joy upon your face.
Let my arm sleep forever,
under your pretty little head
Let all my movements be tethered
Anything to keep you in my bed.
Just don’t leave me, baby
I wouldn’t know what to do
Please don’t leave me, baby
I’d be lost without you..
It’s been ten years. Through which my Love has always been by my side. She accidentally grazed the side of my dad’s hand when she was a puppy, and accidentally bit my brother’s ear when she was a few weeks older. My mother’s always been too scared of her excitement to let her teeth get near her, really. But, her and I, well, I taught her how to fight, and hunt. And I guess I was too fast for her. Or, more likely, she was always just too careful.
Spark’s and I go back twenty years. From the day I first asked for a puppy. I didn’t know it back then, but I wasn’t asking for any dog. I didn’t want any dog. I wanted Sparky. I wanted her black ear, and her fear of thunderstorms and her hatred of Diwali. Her love for cheese and carrots and, like an addict that knows no better, chocolate. Her kind suspicion when it came to smaller animals, who she would never hurt. Flies, mosquitoes and lizards notwithstanding, of course. And she never ate lizards. Just tried to play with them and then got all confused when they would stop moving. Or when they’d shed their tails and run. Sparky always was a hunter.
The doctors are now saying there’s nothing they can do for her. Today’s her tenth b’day, just so you all know. I was there the day she was born. With her one black ear amongst her snowy white siblings, she was already special. The craziest, most adventurous pup of the litter, I instantly knew that she was all I had ever wanted. All dogs love my dad, and vice versa, so convincing him was not a problem. And, my brother, K, he was pretty onboard with the idea too. Even though he originally insisted we take her mirror sibling, but I think that was just to be different from me. You know? Brothers do that. Because from the day she entered our house, my brother and Sparky have their own bond. After all, he did mend her dislocated jaw all by himself. So, of course she forgave him for feeding her the core of an apple once in a while coz he was too lazy to get off the couch. Crazy Sparky likes fruits anyhow. When you give her pomegranate, she chews on the little pieces with the front of her teeth, so that the juice flows out.. I keep telling her that she’s too smart to be a Dog, but she just looks at me with a carefully crafted blank expression. As if she can’t understand what I’m saying. Tch.
Anyhow, so it was my mum that needed convincing. And, what to say? Now it’s her that Sparky follows dutifully around the house. After all, the rest of us leave. Though Sparky has her own relationship with everyone else in the family. Like, she waits for no one to get home the way she waits for my dad. They have this whole walking thing going on, which is pretty incomprehensible to the rest of us.
I left for college. When Sparky was 4 years old. But she never forgot me. And, I had her picture stuck on the door of my cupboard all through my time at college. It’s still stuck on my cupboard at home. Though, nothing beats the real deal, of course.
Which brings us to why I’m writing this post today. Because the doctors tell us that her time has run out. She’s outlived all her beautiful relatives, because she was always the strongest and sparkiest of the lot, so that’s not surprising. And she is rather old. Dalmatians apparently live to be just this old. So, that’s not surprising either. But, she’s the love of my life. She changed my World. Made everything worthwhile. And to think that I would never have her greet me at the door, wagging her tail and rubbing her furry head against my black clothes, the thought absolutely breaks my heart.
I’ve not had the best of years. These past two years. In fact, it’s all been pretty messed up. But, I graduated, and I got myself a job, despite everyone’s lack of expectations. And I can’t help but think that Spark’s was just waiting to see us all settled in to our new lives, God Bless her. You might think this is just romanticism, but I tell you, that dog is smart.
I’m not going to edit what I write here. I just love her so much, I wanted to write about her, and I don’t know if I’ll be capable of doing that once she’s gone. She changed my life just by entering it, it’s impossible to assume that she’s going to leave it unchanged. I hope she’s always happy. And if I could trade places with her, I’d do it in a heartbeat. She made my life worth living. And, with her lawyer coat, I’m sure she subtly edged me towards law school too.
I hope that wherever she goes, there’s always plenty of pigeons to scare and crows to chase. I’m sorry I never got her the chance to run after a bunny, because according to the Famous Five books I read, dogs love to do that. But she’s seen her share of cats. And she’s run around in beautiful golf courses in both the setting and rising sun. It’s been a delightful life. With a new stuffed toy every time she tore her last one to shreds, starting from and not limited to all the ones my brother and I owned as kids. Except the puppy and the rabbit. But she can have them, if she’ll take them. She can have them all.
You’ll always be the one I love the most, Sparky.
May you dance with the wind, and chase the clouds and finally understand that thunder is nothing to be scared of. I’m sure there are no firecrackers in heaven, and may there be nothing else to scare you ever either. I’m sorry I can’t come with you. But Lyka and Spooky and the rest of your family is waiting for you. And I’m sure they’ll take good care of you. And, you, of them.
And when I finally do die, I know you’ll be waiting for me, tail wagging and head all ready to rub on my black clothes. I’ll come see you even if it is hell I’m going to. Though I suspect you’ll get me to make it to heaven, you smart manipulative Scorpio doggie.
So much love, and much more than that,
your sister and hunting buddy,
(Part – I)
In ancient tales
from long ago
Before the Dragons
and the endless cold
There was a flame
born in the midst of a storm
with rage serving as purpose
and chaos, the norm
She lived by the ocean
worshiping the sea
in an unsatiable need
And each time she rode out
for hunt or for play
Her need made her stumble
in a cold too gray
And her sister of the winds
came to her in a dream
to tell her of a distant land
of freedom, strawberries and cream.
So she packed up her bags,
stood up and began to try
to reach that land so far away
Until she learnt to fly.
And then when she dreamt of a stone
at the center of the World
glowing oh-so endlessly
waiting for some angry girl
So she pulled on her gauntlets
and led out her steed
said her quick goodbyes
and ran off to see
just what it was
that made this stone bleed
a fire so hot
even she could feel the heat.
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