Tag Archives: sin

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Happiness: Just saying (Brave New World)

“Of course it does. Actual happiness always looks pretty
squalid in comparison with the over-compensations for
misery. And, of course, stability isn’t nearly so
spectacular as instability. And being contented has none
of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none
of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a
fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never
grand.”

– Mustapha Mond, Brave New World

(Aldous Huxley)

“But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.“

– John, the Savage

[Brave New World]

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Song as Sung by Prince Lir to Lady Amalthea, from “The Last Unicorn” (by Peter S. Beagle)

“When I was a young man, and very well thought of,
I couldn’t ask aught that the ladies denied.
I nibbled their hearts like a handful of raisins,
And I never spoke love but I knew that I lied.

“But I said to myself, ‘Ah, they none of them know
The secret I shelter and savor and save.
I wait for the one who will see through my seeming,
And I’ll know when I love by the way I behave.’

“The years drifted over like clouds in the heavens;
The ladies went by me like snow on the wind.
I charmed and I cheated, deceived and dissembled,
And I sinned, and I sinned, and I sinned, and I sinned.

“But I said to myself, ‘Ah, they none of them see
There’s part of me pure as the whisk of a wave.
My lady is late, but she’ll find I’ve been faithful,
And I’ll know when I love by the way I behave.’

“At last came a lady both knowing and tender,
Saying, ‘You’re not at all what they take you to be.’
I betrayed her before she had quite finished speaking,
And she swallowed cold poison and jumped in the sea.

“And I say to myself, when there’s time for a word,
As I gracefully grow more debauched and depraved,
‘Ah, love may be strong, but a habit is stronger,
And I knew when I loved by the way I behaved.”

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UnContainable

 

If I knew
how to contain this
the feeling of falling endlessly
I would not need you
to be an echo

An echo of
both the heights
and the depths
that I have only
dreamed of

Of heights and depths
that I have only
ever seen
in hues
of you.

My World
does not revolve
around you
but, sometimes
how I wish that
it would.

Because you’re all
I want to see
and touch
and know
and feel..

And because
everything else
is drenched in evil
and sin..
but you,
You will always be the good.

Even if
you do choose
to exist as a blade
without a handle
buried in my throat.

Yes, even then.

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Molten

I cannot hold you in my hands anymore
Flowing out of my veins, like lava in flames
Shining like an intense ocean of red and gold
if I choose to burn, is it not only I who is to blame?

Though sometimes I still dream of that very first time
That my ice-cold soul felt the burn of your skin
Around your fingers, you wrapped my reeling mind
Leaving my edges on steam, and my core, molten.

And you should know I’ve been melting ever since
First in cracks that trickled, then in streams that screamed
And I wonder if you ever truly were the lost prince
Or simply a lord from some nightmarish tale I once dreamed.

My love, how can I follow you any further into this night?
When I know not the way through the depths of your mind
I set out following the treacherous moon and its light
Only to leave myself somewhere too far behind.

And now the embers falling from my skin
from all the places we have touched
are all I have to light my way of sin
Not enough, but always too much

I like to believe I’ll catch up with you sometime
Before going up in flames, or melting out of sight
And if being too weak to help you was my only crime
Then I hope at least my pyre provides you with light.

 

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The Fall

Sleepy child,
fall a while
The World is wide
and full of guile
Rest your eyes
It’s dark tonight
Love your demons,
Pick your fight.

Oh, pick your demons
Love your fight
The darkness beckons
Long is the night.
Child of darkness,
Princess of Sin
If you never end,
Where do I begin?

Lost and wandering
turn around
what you’re seeking
isn’t meant to be found
The World is wide
There’s no need to cry
Fallen child,
Sleep a while.

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Aag, the Fire

You know it isn’t right to talk of rain,
when the sky is blue, on such a wonderful day
A bird in April is worth two in May
Worry not, there’s no such thing as pain without gain

Yes, I know how you don’t believe in beautiful days
Yes, I remember how the fiercest storms left you unphased
You wore your mask well, always there, just fitted in place
But, I know you have secrets for I’ve seen your eyes ablaze

The World is cruel, but you don’t have to be
They eat each other alive, but we didn’t have to die
The mountains are lovely, but I love the sea
I might never escape, but God damn me, I’ll try

For there’s an aag* dying to live, that’s burning in me
And I never stopped being a creature of fire
I left home looking for gardens of glee
And I wearily tire of your funeral pyre.

Yes, I love you, but you know why I can’t stay
Yes, I’m leaving, but you will always be what I crave
When you’ve said it all, there’s nothing left to say
And I’ll let our little secrets lead me to my grave

You lit a fire in me, and now I won’t stop blazing
The night is cool, but my soul is raging
I’m tired of this game, tired of all this chasing
Our forms are young, but my spirit is aging

I wanted laughter, and happiness, not a reason to be brave
Don’t tell me what to do; don’t tell me how to behave.
Remind me of nights spent condemning Universes we’d saved?
And I tire of all these moments that so coldly refuse to end
and your voice, hoarse and low, ‘Fire is the Devil’s only friend.’

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Of Freedom and Peace

The scorching sun
continues
to rise,
shine,
set.
As if
trying to remind men
of some
twisted
sad
irretrievable past.

But,
the men
have long gone,
in search of wine and shade.
And they’ve found a place
of some song
and some
trade.

And now
all surround
the goose made of gold,
while eggs of gold are bought
and eggs of gold
are sold.

While in a dusty corner,
the hungry caged bird
finally ceases
to sing
even though her
once captivated audience
has long stopped
listening.

For
even the
blinded fools
need something
to gape and gawk at
And her dark, unruly
blood-red mane of hair
tumbles freely around her frame
in a slow caress so seemingly warm
that the entire slowly-turning room
that she has quietly wandered into
suddenly seems to be made of
falling snow and frozen ice
and the coldest things
that have ever been
known to man since
the first ever
storm.

Meanwhile
someone has stolen
the great golden goose,
plucked up from right under their noses
And the
naive princess of sin
knowing not what begins,
instead spends all her time chasing roses.

Every day has its price,
every truth drowns in lies
Every rock pales to naught, besides dark Obsidian
Every memory has its ties
Every last man shall die
But, I think peace can only be found in true Oblivion.

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Guilt and Shame; Don’t the men have any?

Does this, she thought numbly,
does this feeling have a name?
And as they laughed their cruel laughs
she tried to think of shame.
But, the gag, it choked her,
not even letting her scream
When you’re barely old enough to walk,
sometimes it’s hard to tell life from a dream.
Though this pain belongs to a nightmare,
even if she hasn’t learned that word yet
And just as they ganged up on her
they simply leave her for dead
While ants crawl into her hair
feeding on her broken skin
The child is barely an infant
And cannot comprehend the idea of sin
Her clothes weren’t provocative
And she wasn’t out so late
Her lifestyle wasn’t “western”
She didn’t drink, smoke or date
It was an infant that they surrounded
an infant that they abused
And as punishment, if ever caught
they’ll live out years, and die, accused.
For all the guilt is saved for the girl
That’s what Women are really raised to be
Ashamed, hidden, fearful, submissive
and always, always guilty.

For the three year old gang-raped in Kerala. I’m sorry imouto..