10 Bizarre Reasons to get Married

10. If you die, you don’t want the cops to call your parents/sibling to identify your dead body.

9. You want to keep a dog at home, but need someone who’ll share the burden of the attention it’s going to demand.

8. You want to go to someplace extremely exotic for a holiday – err, I mean honeymoon.

7. Because it’s easier to cook for two than it is to cook for one.

6. To have someone to help finish the chips packet with. Every time.

5. So that it doesn’t feel like you’re going through the awesomest/worst time of your life without a participating audience.

4. To be able to cuddle with a warm breathing person instead of a pillow every night. Or a dog. Or cat.

3. To finally explain to someone why you don’t like orange lights without worrying about how much they’d laugh at you. And dolls. And bees. And bullies.

2. To have someone to clutch at when you randomly wake up from psychotic nightmares.

1. Because every game is more fun in two-player mode.

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Closing Arguments: #NoMo Please!

S1: The real reason Anti-Modi people don’t like him is because Modi epitomises what the other Idea of India could look like..

S2: S1, you have a large fighting capacity. No wonder you’re lawyer. I can tell you this already. You will be a good lawyer. Well, you never stop fighting. And BTW, I don’t support BJP, I support Modi. I support leaders, not parties.

S1: Actually, S2, I don’t. Have a large fighting capacity, i.e. I’m like this uncaring, apathetic, really extremely chilled out person. But, there’s only one thing that makes me angry, like the Hulk kinda angry, and that is the Cruelty of Cowardice.

When a bunch of humans tie up kittens and throw them in water to drown, or set fire to a dog’s tail, or stalk and rape a toddler, that’s nothing but the Cruel nature of Cowardly humans. This is also why I despise mobs. Because they get together and fuck over individuals who otherwise might have been able to kick their asses. The two things that enrage me the most, therefore, are gang-rapists, and rioting fanatics..

Sigh. What this means is, I cannot just stop when I know people have died for something really senseless and there’s even an iota of a chance that they will, again.

Like I said somewhere in the middle of all this. Do I really believe Modi cares so deeply about eliminating the Muslim threat as he projects himself to be? I don’t know. But, when voting for someone, especially when it comes to politics, I do sincerely believe that it is necessary to look at the party behind the man. After all, this is not some Indian idol/American idol/some other reality TV popularity contest. This voting will affect real people’s lives. And, I just find it very hard to accept that there are educated people who treat this exactly like some “max smses for ur favorite bollywood hero” kinda contest.

It is not. Parties matter. Ideologies matter. Followers matter. And the lengths they are willing to go to matter too.

The ends do NOT justify the means. And, all Indians are my brothers and sisters, S. Especially the dead ones. Because they seem to be forgotten too easily in our country.

But, thank you for your faith. With every passing day in this country, I’m not even certain I want to be a lawyer in the first place. I don’t really enjoy this level of arguing and debating. But, those people suffered. And they died. And if that happened to me, I’d want someone to fight for me too.. That’s all.

Perhaps you should re-look at your civics/social studies text books? Or read some wikipedia links on how politics work and the actual role of a PM and his relationship with the ruling party? Or, perhaps it is foolish of me to expect that from everyone.. maybe it *is* just a popularity contest, and cheap PR and raving fanatics shall win it. But that makes me horribly sad. And I feel like we’ve betrayed not just the murdered, but also our forefathers who fought for, and achieved, independence. But, like I said.. Maybe that’s just my foolishness.

To All my Atheist friends..

Ummm. Agnostic here. *laughs uncomfortably* I really sincerely believe that praying to a maybe existing supernatural being constantly is quite ridiculous, especially in the absence of any concrete evidence of his/her existence whatsoever.. But I also don’t think that we have enough proof to stand up and say we’ve figured everything out. There’s a lot of stuff out there that science cannot *yet* explain. And, yes, they could all be waves and radiation and forces we have not discovered, I’m totally down with that. Just as I wouldn’t be surprised to learn we are all living in a simulated world. Or that aliens are observing us.

I guess, what I’m trying to say is.. We know nothing, A.S.

Also, I dunno. There are hardworking people, and then there’s luck. I won’t go so far as to invoke fate. It does make me mighty uncomfortable, right up there with destiny. But, sometimes hard work doesn’t pay, yo. And, sometimes, random things do. And, sometimes, when life is balancing itself out, the good you do comes back to you, just as the bad you do does. And, of course good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good. But, that’s as much proof for God not existing, as good things happening to good people and bad things happening to bad people is proof for the existence of God!

Nothing sucks more than organized religion. But, simply because it deceives people into thinking that acting in a certain way to appease a certain deity is the way to get eternal salvation/liberation.

Life, as humans understand it, is a matter of a handful of years. For millions of billions of years before we were born, we existed as space dust and star dust, and for millions and billions of years after we die, that atomic form is what we shall all be scattered into. Who are we to say what consciousness is to an atom? Or whether it’s fair to call that non-life? And, what if in atomic form, every Star is your God? Or what if we are given these 70-100 years to learn how to be good atoms? Or, well, anything really! What proof do we have of *everything*?

We know what we know, and what we know is very little.

Man Created God to Replace Women

I think God was created

to take away the power that

the first women must have possessed

especially with the magic of childbirth, 

giving them a mystic appeal

that no man could fathom.

For, how else

would you convince a man

to leave that which were able

to bring forth life itself

were you not able

to convince him

that the life in the womb

really came from elsewhere?

And the young girl

with the fevered brow

and the wailing infant

that lay squirming in her arms

knew better than to reveal

to her astounded, shocked lover

‘I know who it is that gives life

I do.’

And some secrets are kept

because it’s hard to be a mother

but it’s much harder to be God

and Mankind might have created 

God in his own image

but only because womankind let him

and fed, bathed, dressed him

even when it was winter

and they only had one small bear-skin

to keep the entire family warm, 

The same skin that the first woman threw

over her shivering children and lover

before freezing to death

in the tragic, pointless way

that only the oldest, noblest Gods

seem to have ever truly perfected…

The Last of the Anti-Orange Rant [Or why you will never convert me, Modi-ites!]

The problem is this, S. The reasons why we don’t support Modi have been listed out a hundred times above. As others have mentioned, your scary blind devotion to the man is disappointing and frightening.  What we will get into is this: A lot of Muslims were horribly tortured, and died, under his reign. When you […]

Pro-Modi v Anti-Modi: Facebook Debate Excerpts

July 2013 1. The development claimed by Modi in Gujarat is a bunch of lies, as independent reports by Human Rights organizations, both international and Non-governmental have already proved. 2. Modi rides on the fanaticism of his Hindutva fan-boys and fan-girls. No one here is claiming that he wakes up and does the surya namaskar […]

The DMRC needs to STOP its illegal witch-hunt of teens and pre-teens and instead identify the perpetrators who have ILLEGALLY shared the information of individuals on pornographic websites

So, I’m not sure if you guys have heard about this, but footage from the Metro stations of the Indian capital, Delhi, has found its way on to porn websites. Mind you, I’m talking about teenagers, and pre-teens, filmed fooling around on empty platforms because our society is too fucked up to allow them to actually visit each others’ homes in order to even touch other, forget about intimacy!

Are you all mind-fucked yet, friends, Indian and countrymen? Well, it gets better. Now, instead of identifying the criminals who have committed the illegal act of uploading these videos, the DMRC actually has the audacity to try and identify the youngsters so that it can file FIRs against them!

What the actual FUCK? Those couples should be suing DMRC! What kind of a messed up society do we live in? Everybody’s a wannabe self-righteous jackass. Gyah! I can’t take it anymore! Flamethrowers are the only solution!!!

Though, in all seriousness, I repeat: Those couples should be suing DMRC! No self-respecting judge will allow this voyeuristic bullcrap to pass off as implementing decency. It’s only indecent because people were watching, the said people being perverted DMRC officials. Seriously, if someone wants to file a case against the DMRC, please, tell me, and I’ll get you in touch with a lawyer who can kick their privacy-violating ass all the way to hell.