In Love and War

“Get the fuck out of my fucking house.”

She shrunk away from him, turning away so he wouldn’t see the tears filling up her eyes. She needn’t have bothered, as a moment later, the door had slammed loud behind him, and his angry footsteps faded away from where she knelt. Her stifled cries turned to sobs, but only for a minute. Had she not cried enough for this? Had these stone floors not drunk enough of her tears?

She limped to the door, and bolted it from the inside. She was safe now, at least until he decided to return. She had to be gone before that, she thought dully. Gone somewhere far. Where he couldn’t find her.

The mob stormed the village, screaming obscenities and firing indiscriminately as they came. The villagers ran about in panic, many getting slaughtered in their futile attempts to protect their families and children. Shops and houses were set on fire, and the people seeking shelter inside were hunted down and killed as they ran from the burning buildings. An infant wailed endlessly somewhere in the distance. A dark haired boy darted across the burning streets, two younger children in tow, making his way towards the college at the center of their once-quiet settlement. The college of Magic. Abruptly the wailing infant fell silent, and the three children shuddered to think of what that meant.

A loud crash brought forth a strangled sob from her throat. Until she realized it was only their cat. It made its way over and licked her bruised knuckles. “Hey, kitty cat”, she whispered, stroking its soft fur. The cat purred and rubbed against her, and she thought of how they had first found the kitten. Alone and lost in the middle of a fierce thunderstorm, it had taken shelter under his car, meowing piteously until they had found her. At first, he had insisted that they leave it outside in a box, and she had managed to convince him to let it spend the remainder of the stormy night in a corner of his house. The next day she had come home from work to find him fast asleep on the sofa, with the kitten curled up on his chest, also asleep. They had been nearly inseparable since.

She shook her head, as if trying to clear it, and rose up to put out some food for the cat. That’s when she saw the flowers he must have brought home that morning, and her heart ached. Everything was so confusing. How did things get to this? When did they stop laughing at shadows and chasing falling stars?

The boy managed to reach the college grounds undetected, and pulled his young charges inside the gate. Here he stopped to catch his breath, and the two children looked about themselves in awe. Civilians were generally not allowed inside the campus of the infamous college of magic. Though the Council maintained that it was for their own safety, rumor had it that some of the students and teachers at the college dabbled in.. more than just the white arts.

“Alistair, take Nova to Professor Edward. He should be at the top of the North Tower. If anyone stops you, show them this.” Saying so, the older boy pushed a small rock into the younger boy’s hands, even as the young girl looked on, startled. “Nova,” he started, and she backed away from him. “That’s not my name”, she whispered, her eyes locked on to the parchment he held in his hand. “Listen to me, Nova”, he said, louder than he had intended. And now it was Alistair’s turn to watch as she backed further away from the older boy. “We’re not going in without you”, she said, looking past him and into the fires scattered just outside the gates. The older boy looked upset, and bowed his head. But when he looked up again, he was smiling. That made Nova begin to cry, and that made Alistair want to cry as well. But he held on to the rock in his hand tighter instead, and grit his teeth to help fight back the unwelcome tears. “I’ll be alright, Princess”, the dark haired boy assured her, and taking two steps forward, he suddenly knelt in front of her. “Please take the scroll”, he said, head bowed and hand outstretched. Nova hesitated, then reached out and plucked the parchment from his fingers. He looked up and smiled, and asked her to dry her eyes.

Honesty gets you Nowhere

It breaks my heart
to wrap you up
only to have to put you away
But, my love of loves
I have no choice
If it is sane that I must stay

I’ve tried my best
to love you whole
and shower you in pieces of my heart
But they bother you,
poke your eye and soul
and you’d rather be safe and far

Well, I’ll let you go
I am no chain
Only a lost, forlorn, ebbing tide
I came to you
jagged and broken,
and bleeding on the inside

And you fixed me up
with the calmest voice
and laughter that I still hear at night
Only to leave me there
on that darkening shore
Lost in the dazzle of your light

Where do I go?
Won’t someone let me know?
I tire of this sunless, deafening dawn
Bring back the dark
and your softest touch
Or at least tell me the words to your song..

The one I heard
When all was quiet
drowning out the voices in my head
That swallow me whole
and laugh at my fight
and whisper how they’d like to see me dead

Oh, we all must die
that is no lie
but must I do it so far away from you?
Burned and blinded
Lost and wounded
And still searching the seas for the truth

For I had found it once
in the shade of your smile
and the color of your loudest voice
Claim me now
or send me the tide
and end this illusion of choice.

It’s always cold
This ache, it grows
There’s only ice in your veins of stone
You light your fires
and dance and desire
but it’s all only games of the throne

The ocean calls
in a voice so low
I know it isn’t in me to ignore
The mountains hear
my whispered vows
judging me as I turn to go

Do I really have a choice?
You pillars of stone!
Have any of you left me with anywhere I can go?
You fill your lands
with pain and lies
and then wonder why my answer is always No.

No, I am done with you
You Earth of cold
And your endless cycle of lies
The ocean calls
In words that are true
and remembers the truth you all so conveniently deny

So let me go
I don’t want to stay
trapped in your den of vice
My sins, they bleed
My goodness weeps
For hell is as much fire as it is ice.

Fire and Ice – Evolution

~~~

I must stop being so charming,
she breathed in earnest
and humble, he added
earning himself
an icy glare.

But even in that snowstorm,
there was always this fire
in their eyes.

Have you ever seen any one
as ingenious as I? he asked
One in a million, she muttered.
He grinned until realizing
what she had just meant

Ice can choose to melt in a million ways
And only one of any, of all, of those
would do them any good.

Are you both absolutely out of your minds?
is best answered with maniacal laughter
rising into the light of the full moon
in perfect synchronization
— the past.

Now, the darkness whispers secrets
that the moon wasn’t made to keep,
and I’ve heard the darkness calling
and I know it’s calling out to me
— the present

I’m tired of howling
at clouds that won’t even budge
for what is stone but a stubborn cloud?
Sooner or later, it is everything that has to end
— the future?

Even when the Earth has frozen over
and the wind, disappeared from the skies
Know that I will come to you when you call.

~~~

Sleepy

A loud noise
Sleepy child
Fall into bed
Close your eyes

I will watch over you
There’s nothing to fear
I will stand by you
Be brave, my dear

Ugly words
Like scars unhealing
Halting words
Stumble over what I shouldn’t be feeling

Sleepy dreams
Come, take me away
Not to tomorrow yet
I’m stuck in yesterday

Give me a kiss
and I shall give you my word
But, remember, ‘m no merchant
Just a free, lonely, sleepy bird.

Don’t Leave me, Baby

The pain of death is not the pain of not existing anymore, it is the pain of permanent separation. It is pain for those left behind, left alive. It is pain for those that loved you, and always shall.

For eight years before I ever met you, you existed in my heart and wishes and desires. I have loved you since before the birth of your ancestors. I needed you and wanted you and loved you for so long that it sometimes feels like I wished you into existence.

There’s no one else in this whole world whose company gives me more joy. No one else who can look at me with those big brown eyes and make me feel like I am something so special, and so good. I can’t lose you, my baby. You are the only pure thing i have left. The only thing that isn’t rotten and twisted and crumbling. I need you. Please don’t leave me.

I know you’ll be in a happy place whenever and wherever you go, and I know Spooky and Laika and all your other brothers and sisters, whom you have so competitively outlived, shall be waiting to meet you and greet you and play with you, and I know that all of you will have so much fun together.

But, don’t leave me. I’ll be lost without you. How will I walk into the house knowing you aren’t going to be there to greet me with your tail and your tongue and your soft, soft ears? How will I sleep ever again? How will I ever look at a Dalmatian and not burst into tears? How will I move on, baby?

Don’t leave me now. I was away for so long. I’ve just come back to you, and being able to kiss your face, and nuzzle my face into the softness of your neck and feel your fur under my fingers, I need that, baby. I need that more than anything. Take away all those other things and people. Take everything away. Just don’t go. I’d trade it all away for you. You are the only thing in my life worth every single breath I have left.

You’re my lawyer doggy, baby. And I LOVE you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything. And I will always love you most. And if you leave me, I don’t think I will ever stop crying. How will I be happy without you, baby? No. I can’t stand the thought.

I need you. Don’t leave me. I love you. I’d die without you. Stay a while. Please. I know I’m being so selfish. And unreasonable. And irrational. And I know I’m a horrible human being who doesn’t deserve you. But you can’t leave me now. Not now. You’re the only reason I have ever had to truly stay. And I need you to stay with me for a little longer.

Without you, I’d be lost.

You are my heart.

You are my soul.

I love you.

The DMRC needs to STOP its illegal witch-hunt of teens and pre-teens and instead identify the perpetrators who have ILLEGALLY shared the information of individuals on pornographic websites

So, I’m not sure if you guys have heard about this, but footage from the Metro stations of the Indian capital, Delhi, has found its way on to porn websites. Mind you, I’m talking about teenagers, and pre-teens, filmed fooling around on empty platforms because our society is too fucked up to allow them to actually visit each others’ homes in order to even touch other, forget about intimacy!

Are you all mind-fucked yet, friends, Indian and countrymen? Well, it gets better. Now, instead of identifying the criminals who have committed the illegal act of uploading these videos, the DMRC actually has the audacity to try and identify the youngsters so that it can file FIRs against them!

What the actual FUCK? Those couples should be suing DMRC! What kind of a messed up society do we live in? Everybody’s a wannabe self-righteous jackass. Gyah! I can’t take it anymore! Flamethrowers are the only solution!!!

Though, in all seriousness, I repeat: Those couples should be suing DMRC! No self-respecting judge will allow this voyeuristic bullcrap to pass off as implementing decency. It’s only indecent because people were watching, the said people being perverted DMRC officials. Seriously, if someone wants to file a case against the DMRC, please, tell me, and I’ll get you in touch with a lawyer who can kick their privacy-violating ass all the way to hell.

The Rapist Scum of U.P., India

Find someone attractive? Just follow her home with your “friends”, barge in when she’s alone and rape her to your heart’s content. Doth the lady protest too much because you’re a ugly fucking asshole? Set her on fire and let her die.

Or are you more of an outdoors-man – oops – rapist? [You don’t get to call yourself men if you are no better than filthy, diseased cancerous cells plaguing the rest of our society.] Well, if the great weather and better escaping opportunities are your thing, then find a National-level athlete and “tease” her. If she protests? Why, run her over with your car, of course!

Or do you think all of this is too risky? Would you prefer assaulting someone who can’t fight back at all? What is all this protesting and fire and running people over? Well, in that case, be a sick, pathetic, vile little less-than-human pig, and rape an infant, the younger the better. Oh, the number of years your soul shall wander Hell. *laughs* Three thousand sons wouldn’t get you salvation, Asshole. What kind of God do you think would forgive such a thing? Just because you’re a messed up @#@&#@^ coward, doesn’t mean your God is a dirty pig too. Ha! In fact, I keep my faith in the fires of hell that are burning for you.

Moksha, it seems. Your skin should be slowly peeled off with hot iron knives, before your flayed body is dipped in tar and venom. May your screams resound endlessly, rapist-murderers. And may your death make you cry a million times before claiming you.

God, how I hate those who prey on children.

You disgust me.

I loathe you.