Stage 1: Pre-Love
It’s like being bored and sleepy in a crowded car, with the windows rolled almost to the top. It’s stuffy, but you’ve never known anything else. You’ve exhausted almost all topics of pointless conversation, and you begin to wish you would just get where you have to.
Stage 2: Love
You roll down the window as the car begins to gather speed on the empty highways, and wow, right there, that wind makes you feel awake and alive like nothing you’ve known before. And, even though the wind tears at your eyes a little, you’ve never seen a sky so wide, so blue, so full of endless possibilities.
It takes your breath away.
You no longer remember or care about where you wanted to go.
Stage 3: Marginal Utility
The wind is exactly the same as it was when you first felt it, breathed it. But, that’s not what strikes you anymore. Isn’t it frustrating the way it’s constantly messing up your hair? And, why won’t it just ease up a little so that you can breathe easier? And, what is with carrying all that baggage from everywhere it travels?
You didn’t sign up for this drama.
Stage 4: Heartache
Your windows are closed again. If your companions bored you before, the sleepy faces of strangers around you now, in contrast to the vastness of the sky that you forgot to appreciate for one last time before, make you feel physically sick. Of course you care about them, but this isn’t where you want to be right now.
And the air isn’t just stuffy anymore, it’s thick with gloom and this unhelpable, sinking, despairing feeling that you might never see the sky again. And you try and breathe normally, but your face is still flushed from the cold, and it’s no longer just difficult to breathe. It aches.
It aches; and the more you get used to it, the deeper it burns.
You just want to sleep through the rest of this journey now. Even if you were to cross another highway that were to make you feel just as alive, would it ever be worth the feeling that comes after?
When all you want to do is to breathe…
[Rinse and Repeat.
Unto Eternity or Oblivion.]