And I Always Will [An Ode to Mave]

She tells me I don’t bleed for her anymore
Not the way I used to, at least
With windswept hair, and an untamed heart
and eyes that reflected the seven seas.
I don’t know how to tell her the truth
the reason behind my accelerating decline
About things that hit us all, when we least expect them
and about things that used to be just mine.
I try to write out my thoughts in words
but blood is the only color that shall ever suffice
And I don’t blame anyone for the fire
I’m far too tired from all of the ice..

Someday, I think, I’ll speak to her
Speak out my mind, and all that it craves
But, it isn’t my place to break down and weep
It’s only my place to stand tall, and be brave.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a sobbing fool
I’ve been lost, and I’ve cried out my soul
But, with every tear that travels down the telephone line
there’s a frozen thousand, burying my heart in the cold.

And I’ve been tired, I’ve been weak
I’ve forgotten the words to all of my songs
But, she hums the tunes back to me
And reminds me of reasons why one must stay strong
So, sometimes, I say to her, you don’t love me
or at least, you don’t love me well enough
and she mistakes those waves of motion
for an ocean that’s wild and rough.

Well, I’ve been accused of paranoia, & a guilt complex before
I’ve been accused of being selfish and mean
I’ve stood trial for things I never did
but, through it all, by my side she’s been
So, what use are words, when you have my loyalty?
What use is proof when I’ve given you my word?
What are terms of endearment when you have my soul
hanging inches above the edge of your sword?
Yes, you must not be the one to impale me
that honor is much too trite for what we share
But, love, never let a lack of my words
make thou doubt just exactly how much I care.

My hair remains windswept
and at least the seas, still free
And I will always remember
what the wind meant to me
In the charm of your laughter
In the joy of your voice
When it comes to sides I’m choosing
even my words won’t have a choice.
And, you dance in my castle
You dance by the lake
You live out your life
And mend me when I break.
In your violent violet hues
I stand, and I laugh.
So, love, don’t ever accuse me
of not caring enough.

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3 thoughts on “And I Always Will [An Ode to Mave]

  1. Mave says:

    And this, this is why I will never love anyone the way I love you. No romance is this beautiful or painful. No one will ever be enough Jade-Chan, you’ve ruined poor, little, random, whimiscal Mave forever.

    I love you.

  2. Mave says:

    Reblogged this on Slowing Down To Watch Gargoyles and commented:
    I would not want anyone else if only I had you here.

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