and whispered warnings
still bite into your skin
and weekend mornings
and how unforgiving you’d been.
spoke of secrets
you swore you’d never tell.
laugh, and place bets
on how much soul you have left to sell.
And all the while,
you must laugh and smile
lest you be labeled guilty of despair
While sneering faces
with their gaudy graces
struggle to pretend to care.
Lonely open windows
were only as close
as you could get to feeling free
Another place I couldn’t be.
This world is cruel
Apathetic and cold
And not a million belated letters of grief
Can change the truth
That it only grows darker
When each of us refuses to speak
You know what I find disturbing about the whole affair? If you log into twitter right now, and look at the news feed under #Bullying or #Suicide, you see this alarming viciousness amongst a large number of 13-18 year old kids demanding why other people who kill themselves don’t get the same attention. And, at first glance, it might appear to be intolerance towards the sort of attention-seeking behavior attributed to Amanda Todd (another sad example of victim blaming), but, the more you stay on that feed, the more it sounds like there are a 100 kids out there, dying of envy for someone to notice how messed up they feel. And, the scary part is how ruthless and cruel it makes them.
It’s easy to think that you’d never do “something like this” or “something like that” when you’re a kid, but everybody makes a few mistakes. That does not give anybody the right to judge and condemn, and it most certainly does not make it okay that you “don’t feel bad that she’s dead”. Because, the moment you say that it’s okay to bully someone who was “asking for it”, you put yourself, as well as everybody you care about, into the callous hands of society. And, once you grow up, those hands are always going to be wrapped around your throat in varying degrees of tightness anyway. Don’t be cruel to each other just because you feel like you wouldn’t kill yourself if someone said that to you.
You can be as proud as you like of your own strength, but you’re only being a coward when you pick on someone you think is weaker than you.